Making friends as an adult is hard.

Making friends online can sometimes feel even harder.

You might comment on someone's post, have a great conversation, follow each other, and then nothing 🫠

You know there are thousands of people online who would probably get along with you, but turning that online interaction into an actual friendship takes more than just finding each other.

That's one of the reasons we built TwoXTopia.

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🌸 SO, WHY TWOXTOPIA?

A lot of you joined TwoXTopia because you first heard about it through a TwoXTopia meetup on Reddit.

Some of you found us through Instagram, LinkedIn, friends, or other platforms.

And for many of you, the appeal was pretty simple:

👩 Women-only
🤝 Community-focused
🌱 Actual opportunities to meet people IRL

But here's the thing:

Simply joining a community doesn't automatically mean you'll make friends.

We can give you a platform full of women who are also looking to connect.

We can organise meetups.

We can make it easier for you to find people with similar interests.

But friendship still takes a little effort from you.

Think of TwoXTopia as giving you the opportunity to meet people.

What happens after that is up to you.

And honestly, the same thing applies whether you're on TwoXTopia, Reddit, Instagram, Discord, or any other online community.

So, if you're wondering,

"Okay, but how do I actually make friends online?"

Here's where I'd start 👇

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1️⃣ INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO THE COMMUNITY 👋

If you're on TwoXTopia, introduce yourself as soon as you join.

When you join as a verified user, you'll see a prompt asking you to introduce yourself.

USE IT! 😌

Tell us a little about yourself:

📍 Where you're from
🎨 What you like doing
💭 What brought you to TwoXTopia
👯 What kind of people you'd like to meet
✨ Or literally anything you think other women might relate to

If you're using another online community, do the same thing wherever possible.

Make a post.

Reply to someone's introduction.

Let people know who you are.

People can't become friends with you if they don't know you exist. 👀

Already on TwoXTopia and dismissed the introduction prompt multiple times?

No problem!

📱 On the mobile app:

Create a post and use the "New User" interest and "Tell" flair.

💻 On the website:

Just create a Gal Pal post.

You don't even have to worry about the tags. I'll add them manually for you.

Yes, I have such powers 😌

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2️⃣ PARTICIPATE REGULARLY 🌙

Don't wait for friendships to magically happen.

One of the easiest ways to make online friendships feel less awkward is to have small, regular interactions with the same people.

On TwoXTopia, every night between 8-9 PM, we post a Nightly Unwind question.

🌙 New question.
💬 New conversation.
📅 Every day.

You can simply jump into the comments and answer it.

It might seem like a small thing, but this is actually one of the easiest ways to start recognising people in the community.

You get to see:

"What did she do today?"

"What is she thinking about?"

"What is she obsessed with?"

"What annoyed her?"

"What made her laugh?"

And when you eventually meet her IRL, she's not just some random stranger from an app anymore.

You've already had conversations.

You've already seen her personality.

You already know a little bit about her.

The same principle works anywhere online.

Don't just show up once and expect a friendship to form.

Participate.

Comment.

Respond.

Come back.

🔁 Repeat.

Friendships are built through repeated little interactions, not one magical introduction.

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3️⃣ MEET PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE 💃

This is where online communities can become something much more meaningful.

If you're on TwoXTopia, go to the Hangouts section.

Anything tagged "TwoXMeets" is an official TwoXTopia hangout organised by us.

For now, you'll probably see my name quite often because I host a lot of them 😁

Soon, you'll see other TwoXTopia employees organising them too.

And don't just show up.

📌 RSVP by clicking Attend.

💬 Comment on the hangout post.

👋 Introduce yourself.

❓ Ask questions.

🤝 Interact with other women who are attending.

And just so we're clear:

⚠️ Only TwoXTopia employees can use the TwoXMeets tag.

All TwoXTopia employees are users of TwoXTopia, but not all TwoXTopia users are employees.

If you're part of another online community, look for similar opportunities to meet people offline.

A book club.

A hobby group.

A local event.

A community meetup.

Even a casual coffee.

Any of these can turn an online connection into a real friendship ❤️

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4️⃣ ATTEND HANGOUTS ORGANISED BY OTHER USERS 🤝

Not every hangout on TwoXTopia is an official TwoXTopia event.

If a hangout doesn't have the TwoXMeets tag, it's being organised by another member of the community.

And honestly?

These can be a great way to meet people too.

The process is simple:

👀 Check out the post
📌 RSVP
📖 Read the details
💬 Comment if you want to
🚶 Actually show up!

You don't have to wait for the platform itself to organise something for you.

Sometimes the person you're looking for is another user who's also sitting at home wondering,

"How do I make friends?" 🥲

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5️⃣ ORGANISE YOUR OWN HANGOUT 👀

I know this sounds terrifying.

It really isn't.

Pick a place.

Pick a time.

Pick a theme.

Then post it in the Hangouts section.

That's it 😌

And please don't think:

"But what if only one person comes?"

Then you and that one person still had a meetup 💜

The more you organise, the more familiar people become with you.

Over time, people start recognising your name, trusting you, and feeling more comfortable joining your hangouts.

Just remember to:

💬 Keep checking the comments after you post
⚡ Reply to people on time
📢 Communicate clearly if you're postponing
❌ Communicate clearly if you're cancelling

And if you're still confused about how to organise one then,

ASK ME! 😂

I'll make a separate post on:

"How to Organise Your Hangout Like a Pro"

Until then, create a post, tag me, and I'll help you out.

You can also reach out to us through the TwoXTopia Instagram.

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6️⃣ COMMENT. POST. PARTICIPATE. 💬

That's it.

You don't have to become the most active person in a community overnight.

Just participate.

💬 Comment when you have something to say.

❓ Answer questions.

🗣️ Share your own experiences.

📝 Make a random post.

✨ Talk about something you're excited about.

❤️ Respond to someone whose post you relate to.

The more you interact, the more familiar everyone's names and personalities become.

And eventually, when you meet someone IRL, it won't feel like:

"Hi, nice to meet you, complete stranger."

It'll feel more like:

"OH, YOU'RE THE GIRL WHO POSTED THAT THING ABOUT ___!" 😂

And that's exactly what we're trying to build here.

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🚫 ONE LAST THING: THERE ARE NO DMs HERE

And that's intentional.

TwoXTopia doesn't have a DM feature.

If you want to continue talking to someone outside the platform:

👋 Meet them first.

🤝 Get to know them.

🧠 See how you feel around them.

🛡️ Make sure you're comfortable and feel safe.

📱 And then decide whether you want to exchange contact details or connect elsewhere.

This might sound inconvenient, especially when we're all used to instantly DMing someone we find interesting.

But there's a reason we chose not to build that feature.

We want the default path to be:

COMMUNITY
↓
INTERACTION
↓
MEETING
↓
FRIENDSHIP ❤️

Rather than:

STRANGER
↓
DM
↓
ENDLESS CHATTING
↓
NEVER ACTUALLY MEETING 🫠

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🌱 THE POINT OF TWOXTOPIA

The goal of TwoXTopia isn't to give you another app to endlessly scroll through.

The goal is to help you:

👋 Find people
💬 Talk to them
🤝 Meet them
🌱 Touch grass
❤️ Build real friendships

So don't wait for the community to magically give you a best friend.

Take the first step.

Someone else might be waiting for you to 🌸

Or what was the last book you finished?

I finished "Scream for Me" by Karen Rose yesterday and absolutely loved it. It was the perfect mix of thriller, mystery, and romance.

Today I've started "Have You Seen Me?" by Kate White, which is about a woman who wakes up with five years of her memory missing.

I'd love to know what everyone else is reading!

I'm also thinking we can use the Book Club interest a little differently. Instead of discussing every book under one post, we could create separate discussion threads for individual books. That way, anyone who has read the same book can join in without the conversation getting mixed up.

I'd suggest creating a discussion thread after you've finished the book, so everyone can freely discuss it (with spoiler tags where needed)

Tomorrow I'll make a dedicated thread for Scream for Me with my detailed thoughts (spoiler-free at first 🫣)

Drop the book you're currently reading or the last one you finished and tell us in one or two lines whether you'd recommend it 📖✨

And if enough people are interested, we could even vote on a monthly book to read together and eventually have a Book Club meetup to discuss it.

PS : Enclosing text between two !! hides them. Ex : ‼️spoiler-text‼️

Check it out here : spoiler-text

💕💓🩷💖💞
Pink goes so well with blue.
And purple.
And black.
And green.
And yellow.
And with other shades of pink.
Such a versatile color. Should be a way of life at this point.
💕💓🩷💖💞

Tuesday check-in! What is sitting in your online shopping cart, wishlist, or saved folder right now that you are either about to impulsively buy or desperately trying to talk yourself out of?
Tell us what it is and let the sanctuary decide if it’s an essential purchase or pure retail therapy!

Nothing pumps my blood like the one week before my periods where i want to quit my job, change my name, dye my hair pink, move to south korea and become a kpop idol. i am 33. and trying not to make any life altering decisions in the next 3 days. 💅💃💃🪩

I hosted a online meetup about exes, heartbreak and red flags. Somehow, nobody cried!

We did, however, had to stop a Ross & Rachel debate in the middle of the meetup

And honestly, I consider that a win 😂

Last Sunday on 6th Sept, I organised a women-only online meetup around:

“My ex was a red flag and so was I (sometimes)”

I'd actually done something similar offline in March. Recap post here : https://twox.in/post/1nfM-The-story-of-my-ex-your-ex-and-also-her-ex-Mee

It was a good meetup, but it was also intense.

There was a lot of talking about painful experiences, a lot of processing, and a lot of crying. Including me 🥲

So this time, I wanted to do it differently

Whether I'm doing a meetup online or offline, I don't want it to become a two-hour sob story or a group venting session.

I wanted us to be able to talk about breakups, heartbreak, bad decisions and red flags and actually laugh about them

And we absolutely did.

I had a bunch of prompts prepared and divided the meetup into six sections:

1.Introductions

Just getting comfortable and figuring out who everyone was.

2.Their red flags

Because obviously we had to discuss the questionable decisions made by our exes 😂

3.Our red flags

This one was slightly more difficult.

It's very easy to make a list of everything your ex did wrong.

It's considerably harder to admit that sometimes you were also the problem.

4.“Diagnose me”

Why are some of us still single?

What patterns do we keep repeating?

What questionable decisions are we making that we haven't noticed yet?

5.Green flags

This was especially interesting because, unlike my previous meetup, this group wasn't made up entirely of single women.

We had women who were single, women in relationships and married women.

So the women who were happily partnered got to tell us what their partners actually do that makes them think, “Yep, I picked a good one.”

6.The heartbreak that still affects us + what we won in love

We talked about the experiences that stayed with us, the ones that changed us, and then ended by looking at what we actually gained from everything we'd been through.

Because not every relationship ending means you lost.

---

Now one thing I've realised after doing 16 meetups is that the structure matters a lot.

I didn't want this to feel like everyone sitting in a circle waiting for their turn to give a ten-minute speech about their deepest heartbreak.

That can very quickly start feeling like group therapy.
(And I'm completely okay with that too, since a lot of my earlier meetups have gone that way)

So instead, I used shorter, fun prompts and let the conversation move around naturally.

And watching that transition happen is probably my favourite part of hosting these.

At the beginning, I'll ask a question and everyone suddenly does that little sideways head tilt while staring into space trying to think of an answer.

You know the pose.

The universal “hmm, let me search the archives of my terrible life decisions” pose 😂

And because I already knew all the questions, sometimes I'd just go:

“Okay, I'll answer this one first with my story and then you guys can tell yours.”

And that seemed to make people much more comfortable sharing.

Because once one person starts, suddenly everyone has a story.

At one point, we somehow ended up debating whether Ross and Rachel were actually on a break

It had absolutely nothing to do with the meetup topic.

But suddenly we had people defending Ross, people defending Rachel, and an entirely unnecessary courtroom proceeding about the relationship history of two fictional people 😂

I eventually had to stop everyone because we were going completely off track and I still had questions to get through.

Otherwise we'd probably still be there arguing about Friends.

And honestly, I took that as a good sign.

Because that's exactly what I wanted this meetup to become.

Not a structured therapy session.

Not a room full of strangers nervously waiting for their turn.

Just a bunch of women who started off not knowing each other and, after a little while, became comfortable enough to randomly argue about Ross and Rachel.

This was my 16th meetup overall and my 2nd online meetup.

And I think I'm finally realising something.

Women don't necessarily need some elaborate activity or perfect icebreaker to connect.

Sometimes they just need a community, a little structure, and a reason to talk

Most of the women who joined this meetup hadn't attended one of my previous meetups.

Only one had previously come to an offline meetup.

A lot of them specifically chose the online format because it was easier to join.

And also because, as one person basically put it, if the vibes didn't match, it would be easier to leave 😂

But little do most people know that the vibes almost always match.

The first 10-15 minutes are usually the awkward part.

Nobody knows anybody.

Everyone is figuring out who is going to speak first.

And then suddenly someone shares something personal.

Someone else relates. Someone laughs.

And before you know it, complete strangers are talking like they've known each other for much longer.

That's probably my biggest takeaway from doing all these meetups.

I've also learnt that even if you're doing the same kind of meetup, you can't just copy-paste the format.

Online needed a different structure.

I had to change things depending on the audience, adjust questions on the fly, and even completely drop one section because we were running short on time.

There was another section I'd planned to do, but the conversation was going so well that I didn't want to suddenly throw everyone into a heavier round just because it was written in my notes.

So I skipped it.

And that's something I've learnt from hosting these:

The plan is there to help you. It isn't there to control the meetup.

You have to pay attention to the people actually sitting in front of you.

Or, in this case, the people sitting in little squares on a screen 😂

The meetup was supposed to be 8–10 PM.

It ended at 11 PM.

No biggie 😂

And I think I'm going to experiment with doing more online meetups from here.

I still prefer offline ones.

There's something about sitting across from actual people that an online call can't completely replicate.

But online has one huge advantage:

I can reach women who otherwise wouldn't be able to make it.

And more importantly, women who join online can also find each other.

So I think I'll be doing more of these.

I might actually take a little break from the offline ones for now.

Because after 16 meetups, I've realised I've given up a lot of weekends to organise these.

And I'm a little burnt out 😭

---

Which brings me to another thing.

I'd genuinely love to see other women host their own.
That's what twoxtopia was made for!

If you've ever thought about organising a women-only meetup but had no idea where to start, I'd be happy to help and twoxtopia will help you promote it!

After 16 meetups, I've learnt a ridiculous amount about what works, what doesn't, what I've completely messed up, how to structure things, how to deal with awkward beginnings, how to keep conversations moving, and how to improvise when your carefully planned agenda goes out the window 😂

I don't want twoxtopia to be something where I'm the only person constantly organising meetups.

I'd much rather see more women create their own little communities and gatherings.

I'll make a separate post about this because I genuinely want to help more women do it themselves.

For now, I'm curious:

Would you attend more online women-only meetups?

Would you ever want to host one yourself?

And would you want me to repeat this particular topic?

I probably wouldn't repeat it immediately because I think part of what makes these meetups work is that I genuinely enjoy being part of the conversation myself.

And I like keeping the topics fresh instead of doing the same thing back-to-back.

But if enough people want this one again maybe I'll think about it 👀

Either way, 16 meetups in, I'm still learning.

And apparently I'm still not tired enough to stop doing this 😂

What's your hot take for the day?👀

We'll go first.....You don't have to figure it out all by a certain age!
Agree or not?

Drop your hot takes below 👀✨

Writing something about myself always puts me on a ledge.

Alright, I’m a psychiatrist, bibliophile, and I write too. I joined this community because women-only communities are always interesting, and I’m hoping to find some book clubs here.

I’ve also always wanted to learn martial arts, so maybe I’ll finally get around to that.

P.S. I have a habit of diving into conspiracy theories and occasionally dig one of my own.