Do you really ever get to know what you want in life?

Idk what's the meaning of even asking this, I don't want a solution not do I want sympathy. I don't even want to know when this ends, what this is, where did it come from, did I ask for it unknowingly, or crazy shi- like that.

I just want to be true to myself. That's it. And I'm really trying to, but the more I try the more I realise how big of a loser I am.

(no, I'm not begging for attention either. Y'all can skip me if you want to.)

But I really wanna know if someone can actually ever be true to themselves and how?

xx
hoonie