Nobody Prepared Me For The Dishes : The Realities of Adulting Meetup Recap [26th July, 26 | Bangalore]

You can plan a meetup.
You can't plan the conversations that matter.

No matter how many meetups I host, one thing never changes.

I never know how they're going to end.

Last Sunday's meetup was called "Nobody Prepared Me For The Dishes: The Realities of Adulting"

The plan was simple.

Host it in Cubbon Park, sit under the trees, and spend a few hours talking about adulthood.

Bangalore had other plans.

It was going to rain.

So we pre emptively shifted to a cafe inside a mall.

Women from different age groups and different stages of life showed up. Some were students, some were married, some had recently moved cities, some had been living independently for years.

After introductions and a few games, I asked everyone one question:

"At what point did you actually feel like an adult?"

Because let's be honest,
You don't magically become one at 18.

For me, it happened at 27, when I moved from my hometown to Bangalore for work.

What surprised me wasn't that everyone had a different answer.

It was how differently adulthood arrives for each of us.

→Some felt it after getting married.
→Some said not even marriage made them feel like adults.
→Some when they moved away for college.
→Some when they started living alone.

And for many, it wasn't one moment at all. It happened in stages.

Listening to everyone's stories reminded me that adulthood isn't an age.

It's a collection of moments where you suddenly realize,

"Oh, nobody is going to do this for me anymore"

Then came another surprise.

The cafe needed the table back.

That's exactly why I usually prefer hosting meetups in Cubbon Park or Lalbagh. Nobody asks you to leave because you've finished your coffee.

We had hardly began our conversations and here we were asked to leave.
One of the attendees smiled and said,

"My house is five minutes away if everyone wants to continue."

So we did.

We sat in her garden for another two hours.

Somewhere during those conversations, something interesting happened.

We slowly stopped talking about adulting.

And started talking about adult friendships.

Normally, as a host, I would steer the conversation back.

That's part of my job.

I want everyone to speak. I want everyone to feel included. Sometimes that means interrupting an interesting discussion because someone else hasn't had the chance to share yet.

This time I didn't.

Because everyone was engaged.

Everyone was listening.

Everyone was adding something.

The conversation had naturally found what the group needed that day.

Ironically, I was so busy making sure everyone else got to tell their story that mine never got told.

Sometimes facilitating a conversation means guiding it.

Sometimes it means trusting it.

Eventually, we came back to the original theme.

We spoke about what adulthood is still throwing at us.

→Finding a permanent place to live.
→Health.
→Learning how to live alone.
→Trying to figure out what to look forward to.

No one had all the answers.

But for a few hours, nobody had to carry those questions alone.

Moments like these remind me why I started building TwoXTopia.

Not to organize events for the sake of events.

But to create spaces where women can have conversations that don't usually happen anywhere else.

And sometimes, those conversations end up being completely different from the ones we planned.

This meetup made me realize that this topic deserves another round.

So this Wednesday (29th July) at 4 PM, I'm hosting an online conversation around the same theme, "Nobody Prepared Me For The Dishes: The Realities of Adulting."

Not everyone can make it to an in-person meetup, so let's try something different.

If you've ever found yourself thinking, "Nobody prepared me for this part of adulthood," I'd love for you to join us.

Let's continue the conversation.